During Andrea’s last visit in April, I came to the conclusion that despite the many amazing technological advances that the UAE has made in the 36 years that it’s actually been a country, there are still a few minor details that the founding fathers and captains of industry neglected.
While traveling from Abu Dhabi to the Musandam Peninsula (the northernmost tip of Oman, which, parenthetically, happens to be separated from the rest of that nation by Fujairah, a particularly pushy section of the UAE whose ambition to touch the waters of the Indian Ocean came at the expense of a contiguous Oman), we had an extremely difficult time locating and remaining on the highway. The source of this difficulty soon became apparent: this country has no highway.

Or, to be more accurate, it has no road that would warrant the appellation of highway for more than 75 miles at a time. In a feat of brilliant engineering that epitomizes this nation’s unique take on functional infrastructure, 5 lane thoroughfares seem to haphazardly and without warning dematerialize into the central arteries of major metropolitan areas. So after hurtling happily between emirates at 80 mph, we suddenly found ourselves stuck at not one, but a whole series of traffic signals amid a plodding, cacophonous ocean of automobiles. To make matters even more enjoyable, the way out of these vehicular quagmires was somehow never along the same road as the way into them. You would think that the highway leading into the heart of town, upon emerging from the urban nightmare in which it found itself ensnared, would logically continue on in the same direction as it had been going prior to its unceremonious demotion to the status of a city street. Or, if the main road did head off in a different direction, you’d obviously expect there to be signs indicating as such and pointing motorists toward their desired destinations. But you would be sadly mistaken were you make either of the above assumptions. As a result, we ended up getting lost in no fewer than 3 of the 7 emirates and having to navigate our way out with nothing more than an assortment of out-of-date, poorly-detailed road maps and our collective wits.
If the prospect of encountering this scenario sounds frustrating, try enduring it at least 6 times over the course of a 6 hour drive. I believe the moment that the proverbial straw broke my personal camel’s back and my gradually escalating distemper blossomed into a white-hot bolt of rage flashing just behind my left temple came somewhere in the outskirts of Ras Al Khaimah. Here, a particularly infuriating stretch of “highway,” punctuated every 2 minutes by needlessly long traffic lights, was diverted by construction into a single lane of traffic puttering along what basically amounted to the interconnected parking lots of several strip malls while an abandoned backhoe sat in mocking indolence among the dirt and gravel piles where the main road once was and where it may be again some day in the indeterminate future. It was enough to make me seriously contemplate testing out the off-road capabilities of our rental Toyota Yaris, heading into the desert, and bypassing the streets entirely; as illustrated above, half the roads have been reduced to dirt, so would driving on the sand really be that much of a downgrade?
Now I realize that much of the frustration expressed in this post is the result of viewing things through American eyes and allowing my opinion of certain aspects of life here to be clouded by the arrogance that can easily derive from having been born and raised in the land of plenty – something that I generally try to avoid. But the truth of the matter is, this is not a third world country. This is one of the wealthiest nations in the world, a nation that routinely makes headlines for erecting some magnificent (and wholly unnecessary) icon of luxury and splendour, a nation that hopes to supplement if not equal its oil-based revenue with that provided by its aspirations to be a new Xanadu for foreign businesspeople and tourists. My point: they can build a damn highway if they want to. Hell, they can build hundreds of them, plus a light rail or two, and still have enough cash left over to build an underwater hotel and the world’s tallest building. They have just chosen not to.
One of the most irritating (and simultaneously comical) things about this country is that it strives for the extravagant without dwelling on the pragmatic. As a result, they have indoor skiing in the desert but no interstate. They can reclaim land from the sea to build palm- and globe-shaped islands, but a viable public transportation system eludes them. Five-star hotels are a dime a dozen, but reliable internet access is hard to come by. What good is building replicas of the Seven Wonders of the World if there aren’t clear road signs – not to mention clear roads - leading to them?
The explanation for this state of affairs is obvious: palm islands, indoor skiing, five-star hotels, and reconstructed monuments make money; roads and street signs don’t. The architects of the new UAE are in business to make money, and they have succeeded. Their unlikely dream of going from the rigors of Bedu life to the pinnacle of opulence in less than 50 years has worked, but only too well. The “Ready. Fire! Aim” philosophy behind transforming empty desert into world-class metropolis without first laying down the infrastructure necessary for such an upheaval is starting to have its cost. So many tourists and businesses were attracted here that the cities cannot grow fast enough to accommodate them all. Streets are overcrowded with cars because they were not designed to handle the influx of people that the astounding development here has created, and constant construction of new architectural wonders only chokes them up further. As a result, businesses are starting to pull out of Dubai, and Abu Dhabi is moving its entire financial sector outside of the main city because employees are spending up to 4 hours a day (on the clock) in traffic. A public transportation system sounds pretty good right about now, doesn’t it? Well, maybe in a few years. Better late than never, I suppose, but it turns out it’s hard to build a city of the future without first having a functional city of the present.
On that note, it’ll certainly be interesting to see what happens here over the next 5, 10, 20 years. There seems to be no end to the number of projects due for completion in that period, not that deadlines and projections really mean anything within the culture of insh’allah. Perhaps in that time the visionaries will sweat the small stuff a bit more and realize that mundane details like highways and street signs go a long way. Then again, perhaps not. After all, the current situation proves that these folk have a knack for putting the cart so far in front of the horse that not even Secretariat could catch up.
Posted by ringoat 
Posted by ringoat 
Posted by ringoat